Saddest Summer.

Friday, 21.00, Koffin puisto

Green patches of grass grow scarce on the slopes of Koffari as groups of people flock into the park. Plastic bags full of bottles clink and the chatter gets louder as the Friday-minded merrymakers find somewhere to sit. Phones ring as missing friends are directed this way, someone's ghetto blaster can be heard from halfway across the park, while some drunkard sneakily peeing against the brick wall gets fined by the police, who are also spending the evening on the grassy knolls of Helsinki's nicest outdoor living room. It's the hottest day of summer so far. In addition to the temperature, spirits and alcohol intakes alike, are high.

Friday, 22.30, somewhere between Kamppi and Töölö

It's still warm as we make the trek towards Korjaamo to check out Leaders of the Republic. I'm in a shopping cart, thereby proving to myself that both a thirteen-year-old and a jackass reside somewhere inside of me. Buildings flash by as the cart speeds downhill. It's a pleasant mode of transport. Up until the point where we hit a curb and i catapult out of it and hit the pavement.

Saturday, 03.00, Bar Loose

We've made it from Korjaamo to Loose. This time on foot. We're starving and craving burgers. After sitting around with pints for the best part of an hour, convinced they've stopped serving food already, Linda goes to the bar, to make sure. Just in case they haven't. Turns out they have. Three minutes ago. Face-palm and epic failure. We look at each other and sip on our beers in silence.

Saturday, 11.00, Hietsun kirppis

It's hot. Anne and Karri have arrived at the market at eight in the morning with what seems like a truckload of stuff. They're gonna make some money. I'm gonna need somewhere to sit. My head hurts and i want food. I'm not the only one suffering; their Boston terrier, Lara, is hanging her tongue out and keeling over under a table in the heat. The scorching sun, the haggling crowds and acute dehydration are making me want to do the same. Feeling like my presence might result in an undesirable effect on sales akin to that of the Valtsu flea market expedition some months ago, i wander off into Koffari via Subway for some breakfast, and leave them to do business.

Saturday, 15.00, Taivallahden satama

Some food, a banana split flavored ice cream and bike ride later, I'm on a boat. It's awesome. Taivallahti is gorgeous, the sea is sparkling and the breeze is working wonders on my aching brain. The cider is cold and the conversation verging on the absurd. The toilet on-board isn't functioning, so we frequent the public facilities at Mestaritalli's terrace. The only problem is that we don't actually have the key to the harbor gate. You need this key to open the gate, regardless of which side of the gate you are on. The people from the neighboring boat, who were kind enough to loan us their key, have left. We're on our own. We hope our cunning piece-of-rope-holding-door-open plan is foolproof. 

I head towards the toilets. The gate is closed. Locked. I'm stuck on this side. The wrong side. I glance back to the boat at the end of the pier. The folks on-board can't be of much help. I look from the water to the toilets on the other side of the gate. Not feeling like swimming, i go for the lesser of two evils and decide to climb over the metal frame around the gate. Easier said than done, but on a intoxicated summer Saturday when you really need to pee, you find yourself doing wondrous things.

Saturday, 21.00, Bar Loose

We've been craving these burgers for ages. Especially after last night's failed attempt at a midnight snack. So here we are, this time before three in the morning, for some long-awaited sustenance. We set off towards Koffari with burgers in tow. It's still light out. Koffari is, if possible, even more packed than on the night before. We walk through the entire park, trying to find our friends. It's a frigging circus. Pre-pubescent teens hurling in a bush. A group of hammered guys leering at the female police patrolling the park. Hipsters with guitars. Gypsies collecting bottles. A dude doing some fire-juggling. I sit down to eat my burger and survey my surroundings. This is madness. My burger is awesome. If this weekend is anything to go by, this summer is gonna suck big time.

Trying to Hate Siltanen

I don't get thrown out of bars often. Granted, it may have happened once or twice, but it's not like it's an everyday occurrence. So ever since i almost got thrown out of Siltanen some months ago (a dramatic tale involving a birthday party, a snowstorm and some jaeger bombs) i've held a bitter and thoroughly justified grudge against the place itself, and certain members of the bar staff especially, whose textbook hipsterishness coupled with a  total ambivalence towards customer service have left me dumbstruck on more than one occasion.

However, despite this deep-seated disfavor, i'll confess that on equally as many an occasion i've found myself spending the sunny hours of a summer evening lounging on said restaurant's terrace with a cold drink in hand and a plate of food in front of me. Nevertheless, where the service disappoints, the food has yet to.

This Monday was no exception, when six starving ladies sat down for dinner. Siltanen brought in a new summer menu not too long ago, which features sandwiches, soups, salads and the like – with vegetarians taken into account too. Prices average about a tenner, which won't set you on the road to bankruptcy. Also, portions are a good size, so making a pit stop by the dodgy-looking hot dog cart on your way home won't be necessary.

I decided to go for Ali Baba's Feast, a huge platter of hummus, spicy pita bread, couscous, aubergine dip, taboulleh, falafel and tzatziki. I reckon this platter is big enough to share between two, but such was the magnitude of my hunger that i devoured it all single-handedly. Washed down with a pint of ice cold Crowmoor, it was gooood. Falafels were crisp, the spiciness of the bread was a nice touch and the hummus was delicious. It's worth mentioning, though, that this here Ali Baba comes laced with garlic, to the extent that you can still taste it two days later. In any case, well worth the 12 euros.

And though Anne's Galette sandwich probably featured more meat than bread, i had to take a picture just to document the ambitious presentation. I'm told that in addition to good presentation, the taste was also spot on.

So yeah, Siltanen, as long as you make food this good, i simply can't hate you, no matter how hard i try.

Siltanen, Hämeentie 13 B

Yesterday Was Gorgeous.

And a good day. Because of the small things. Strange dream of Quick Draw McGraw. Huge mug of tea in the morning. Biking to work in the sunshine. 'Mama, i wanna go surfing' blaring on the iPod. A laughter-inducing text message outlining drunken escapades of nights before. 

Lots of little things.  Somewhere in between recording a radio ad and having a power lunch at the Nepalese on the corner, i spotted a bunch of Mayday balloons. Meandering outside someone's window, stuck to the power cord, this flock of superheroes  and my little ponies left over from the previous weekend's mayhem made me smile. 

The sunshine persisted well into the evening, when a gang of hungry women decided to dine at Tori. The restaurant no longer serves alcohol, which, in the eyes of many, is a fairly sad thing. The food, however, is still good enough a reason to pay the place a visit. What's more, the kitchen was happy to satisfy my veggie burger-craving by whipping up a hearty tofu burger, even when it wasn't on the menu. 

At the end of the day, full of food and seriously sleepy, i biked home, still smiling, like some victorious urban cowboy riding into the beautifully pollution-tinted sunset of an urban cityscape. 'Yessir', i thought to myself, as the empty beer cans tumbled by in the dry evening breeze; 'it was a good day, this one'. Now if only yesterday could Quick-Draw-McGraw today's offensively frigid and thoroughly drenched ass.

i heart in April

1. High Violet. Fuck me, the anticipation has been hellish, but the rewards worthy. If you didn't get a chance to listen to this on the New York Times website, be sure to buy the album on May 10th. For those of you who did listen, coercing you into CD purchases is hardly necessary. 
2.  The Gashlycrumb Tinies. I keep going back to these kiddos and the sinister ways in which they meet their ends. This enchants me, big time.
3. Vegemesta food served at Bar Loose from April 29th onwards! My favorite bar + my favorite fast food joint joining forces = fuck yeah. 
4. Terrace season. There's nothing quite like drinking outside in the sunshine. It's at the very heart and core of Finnish summer, i argue.
5. Jaqcues Cousteau hats. I've obviously missed the hipster wave on this one, but i like the hats almost as much as i was infatuated with the man himself in my pre-pubescent years. 
6. Melissa auf der Maur. Not only was interviewing her mighty cool, but she was also really charming (and i think i might now have a small crush on her).
7. I Walk the Line and No Shame at Nosturi. One of the most rockin' gigs i've been to this month. 
8. Tattoo Mystique by Angelique Houtkamp. Got this book at the Kaapelitehdas gift shop. Full of gorgeous photos, illustrations and tattoo flash. I'd love to order one of her prints, put it on my wall and admire it for a good while each day.
9. Onerva - Kaupungin naiset at Ateneum. Checking this out was the perfect pastime for a rainy weekday. The exhibition features clothes, maps, books, photography and the like from turn-of-the-century Helsinki. I especially liked how, among said paraphernalia, it featured all her gentlemen admirers as well. This was not a short list, either.
   
10. Festival lineups. Ah, it's looking good, kids. With the likes of The XX, Florence + the Machine, The Drums, Biffy Clyro, Against Me!, LCD Soundsystem and whatnot hitting stages throughout the country, there's a good deal of hot stuff to look forward to this summer.