Eat and be cultured.

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, which is why i wholeheartedly endorse its lengthier, more luxurious big brother, brunch. A haggard looking bunch of last night's drunken heroes can easily find a more enticing hangover breakfast than the scraps of that falafel bought at 4 am at one of the growing number of spots in Helsinki that offer weekend brunch buffets. This particular Saturday, the bunch was looking less haggard and more towards the theatre adaptation of The Jungle Book that they were attending after eating, so it was a slight dent to the happy mood when we made our way down Uudenmaankatu to find that Belly, one of the best and most decently priced brunching venues, was closed. Undeterred, we decided to head to Ekberg on Bulevardi, which serves an allegedly scrumptious brunch. Turns out it's pretty pricey, too. At 18 euros per person we turn it down and decide to continue our food forage. Fanny Goes to Hollywood by Koff park has a brilliant brunch (good teas, tapas-like dishes and croissants) but is out of the question as it only opens at 11. We consider Cafe Engel, but it entails a long walk for which we're too hungry and cold. Deciding to find somewhere closer, we walk down Albertinkatu towards Tori, which, to our mounting disappointment, is closed. 

And then, like a strike of genius, someone remembers that Primula serves brunch, which none of us have ever sampled. A stone's throw down the road, we cross our fingers and hope for the best. To our relief, we find the restaurant is open and brunch is served from ten to two in the afternoon, and is priced at a very decent 10 euros. Brunch isn't brunch unless it involves sparkling wine, and at Primula a flute of bubbly will set you back 2 euros, which makes refusing alcohol with your breakfast impossible. 

At 10.30 on Saturday, the restaurant hasn't filled up yet, and the calm is a nice contrast to the buzzing cacophony that fills Belly at brunch time. We station our bags, coats and glasses at a table by the window and head for the food. Breakfast buffets can sometimes be the downfall of a vegetarian, not to mention a vegan; sausages, scrambled eggs and bacon are a staple of hotel breakfasts that seem to make their way into every buffet, everywhere. Breakfast at Primula was no different. What was refreshingly different, though, was the variety and quality of the veggie-friendly food. From olives, marinated zucchini strips and mushrooms to three different kinds of breads (and tapenade!), to potato wedges and little donuts to fresh fruit, this breakfast is a winner in my books. We spent the best part of two hours enjoying it, and in the midst of eating decided we wouldn't tell anyone else we found the best brunch in Helsinki. This is me not telling.


After eating we headed to Kansallisteatteri for Jungle Book. Half a dozen happy free-ticket sporting friends (and one whose suit-wearing habit had resulted in him mistakenly being charged for his) file into the theatre, ready to see some Kipling on stage. 
In this adaptation, the jungle is a dystopian Helsinki, and the animals that inhabit it are portrayed in a way that sharply contradicts the original; Baloo the bear speaks russian and resembles a motorcycle gang member, and the black panther Bagheera is a drag queen with the skinniest, longest legs, highest heels and biggest headpieces. Mowgli, the only human featured, is played by 29-year-old woman, and the monkeys (by far the best and most annoying characters) are something between teen goths and cosplayers with a serious case of ADHD. The plot and message remain the same, and it's interesting to see how the story is updated to reflect contemporary society (like when Shere Khan the tiger yells "i'll kill humans to extinction" at the audience"). Old message, new setting, updated characters. Lots of laughs. And it was free, too. Go see it, and should you be a student in a suit, make sure to tell them it doesn't mean you aren't a kid.