Saddest Summer.

Friday, 21.00, Koffin puisto

Green patches of grass grow scarce on the slopes of Koffari as groups of people flock into the park. Plastic bags full of bottles clink and the chatter gets louder as the Friday-minded merrymakers find somewhere to sit. Phones ring as missing friends are directed this way, someone's ghetto blaster can be heard from halfway across the park, while some drunkard sneakily peeing against the brick wall gets fined by the police, who are also spending the evening on the grassy knolls of Helsinki's nicest outdoor living room. It's the hottest day of summer so far. In addition to the temperature, spirits and alcohol intakes alike, are high.

Friday, 22.30, somewhere between Kamppi and Töölö

It's still warm as we make the trek towards Korjaamo to check out Leaders of the Republic. I'm in a shopping cart, thereby proving to myself that both a thirteen-year-old and a jackass reside somewhere inside of me. Buildings flash by as the cart speeds downhill. It's a pleasant mode of transport. Up until the point where we hit a curb and i catapult out of it and hit the pavement.

Saturday, 03.00, Bar Loose

We've made it from Korjaamo to Loose. This time on foot. We're starving and craving burgers. After sitting around with pints for the best part of an hour, convinced they've stopped serving food already, Linda goes to the bar, to make sure. Just in case they haven't. Turns out they have. Three minutes ago. Face-palm and epic failure. We look at each other and sip on our beers in silence.

Saturday, 11.00, Hietsun kirppis

It's hot. Anne and Karri have arrived at the market at eight in the morning with what seems like a truckload of stuff. They're gonna make some money. I'm gonna need somewhere to sit. My head hurts and i want food. I'm not the only one suffering; their Boston terrier, Lara, is hanging her tongue out and keeling over under a table in the heat. The scorching sun, the haggling crowds and acute dehydration are making me want to do the same. Feeling like my presence might result in an undesirable effect on sales akin to that of the Valtsu flea market expedition some months ago, i wander off into Koffari via Subway for some breakfast, and leave them to do business.

Saturday, 15.00, Taivallahden satama

Some food, a banana split flavored ice cream and bike ride later, I'm on a boat. It's awesome. Taivallahti is gorgeous, the sea is sparkling and the breeze is working wonders on my aching brain. The cider is cold and the conversation verging on the absurd. The toilet on-board isn't functioning, so we frequent the public facilities at Mestaritalli's terrace. The only problem is that we don't actually have the key to the harbor gate. You need this key to open the gate, regardless of which side of the gate you are on. The people from the neighboring boat, who were kind enough to loan us their key, have left. We're on our own. We hope our cunning piece-of-rope-holding-door-open plan is foolproof. 

I head towards the toilets. The gate is closed. Locked. I'm stuck on this side. The wrong side. I glance back to the boat at the end of the pier. The folks on-board can't be of much help. I look from the water to the toilets on the other side of the gate. Not feeling like swimming, i go for the lesser of two evils and decide to climb over the metal frame around the gate. Easier said than done, but on a intoxicated summer Saturday when you really need to pee, you find yourself doing wondrous things.

Saturday, 21.00, Bar Loose

We've been craving these burgers for ages. Especially after last night's failed attempt at a midnight snack. So here we are, this time before three in the morning, for some long-awaited sustenance. We set off towards Koffari with burgers in tow. It's still light out. Koffari is, if possible, even more packed than on the night before. We walk through the entire park, trying to find our friends. It's a frigging circus. Pre-pubescent teens hurling in a bush. A group of hammered guys leering at the female police patrolling the park. Hipsters with guitars. Gypsies collecting bottles. A dude doing some fire-juggling. I sit down to eat my burger and survey my surroundings. This is madness. My burger is awesome. If this weekend is anything to go by, this summer is gonna suck big time.